Alicia Minshew and her husband Richie Herschenfeld with their daughter Willow. Credit: Courtesy of Alicia Minshew
As a soap opera actress, Alicia Minshew was used to heavy doses of daily drama. What she wasn't accustomed to, however, was drama in her own life.
Minshew, who plays Kendall Hart Slater, the strong-willed daughter of Susan Lucci's Erica Kane on "All My Children," got a shock in August 2009 when she was six months pregnant and found out that the cast and crew were relocating the show from New York City to Los Angeles. "We panicked when we got the news because my husband (Richie Herschenfeld) and I lived right around the corner from the studio in Manhattan and we had lots of family on the East Coast to help us out with the baby," the actress tells ParentDish. "Our master plan quickly went south."
The couple's daughter, Willow, is now 9 months old, and one month after returning to the set, Minshew, 36, shares why her real-life role as a mother played a huge part in her decision to move her family across the country.
PD: You play Susan Lucci's daughter on the soap opera. Did she give you any advice while you were pregnant? AM:Yeah, she did. We were talking about working while you were pregnant and what to do when you get tired, nauseous or just need to put your feet up. I asked her what it was like to work once the baby arrives and she gave me great tips on balancing the two. Matter of fact, my very first day on the set almost nine years ago I got slapped across the face by my TV mom. Welcome to daytime TV and the start your new job. (Laughs)
ParentDish: We love the name Willow. Why that name? Alicia Minshew: We named her for my husband's father Willy, who, unfortunately, passed away. The name Willow was an earthy, happy name that we both liked.
PD:After Willow arrived in November 2009, how much time did you take off? AM: I was home for eight months. I took off the extra time because it is such a special time because the baby changes every day.
PD: How did the writers tap dance around an eight-month absence for your character? AM: They were unbelievable. My character Kendall was on a boat in Europe with her kids.
PD: You have been back at work for a month. How would you describe the transition? AM: It is OK. It was hard at first because I was breast -feeding and Willow did not like the bottle. But now that she has gotten older and eats food, it has gotten easier.
PD: Were you surprised that "AMC" moved West? AM: Yes -- shocked as a matter of fact. I said, "Well I can't do that. I am a first-time mom and there is no way I can pack up and leave with a newborn." Plus, my roots and family were in New York.
PD: So moving was not in the cards? AM: My initial reaction was, "Oh, s**t!" I kept saying, "No, no, no." I have been in New York for 14 years, my husband owns three restaurants, our family is all on the East Coast and I live around the corner from the studio. Richie and I had it all worked out and then everything changed right in the middle of the most difficult time in my pregnancy. The whole thing just freaked us out.
PD: Was it a tough decision to make? AM: Yes, very. I am basically taking Willow away from her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Just that thought alone was huge in itself. We talked it out with our families and everyone agreed: I have a great job, the baby is small, she isn't in school, so do it now.
PD: What was the deciding factor? AM: There were a few. First off, we have so many friends out here in Los Angeles and the "AMC" cast is my extended family. We also knew Richie was able to hire some great managers while he was away. Third, we know this was temporary. We are renting a place and know ultimately we will be back in New York because we want to raise our daughter in New York City.
D: Do you feel you wrestled with this so much because you were now a parent? AM: Yes. Being parents definitely made us weigh our decision even more. But thank god Richie brings Willow to the set every day during lunch so I can nurse her and see her. Plus, we Skype with our families on a regular basis so they can see the baby crawl, stand up and wave.
PD: What benefits is Willow getting by living in California? AM: She is taking a one-on-one swimming class. We never had access to a pool in New York City and Willow loves it. She kicks her feet and even goes under the water. Plus, she goes outdoors all of the time.
PD: You made reference to this being a temporary move. Why is it so important to raise Willow in Manhattan? AM: New York children are exposed to so many different kinds of cultures and people. They are more well-rounded because everything is out there. Kids in the city have a sense of independence, they are more savvy and there are a million things for them to do. There are great music classes, Broadway shows, museums such as the Children's Museum, the Museum of Natural History. You can walk with them everywhere and even stroll in Central Park.
PD: What do you see as being the biggest change in your role as Willow's mom now that you are on the West Coast? AM: I do miss out on some of the fun stuff she gets to do with her daddy since I am on set all day. My role is shifted now that I am back at work. Come to think of it, I don't even think she misses me because she is having so much fun with her daddy.
PD: Do you get jealous that your husband gets so much alone time with Willow? AM: I thought that I would, but I don't because I know we came out here with the plan he would be taking care of her. Keep in mind, the first eight months he was working and I was home alone with her. I think because I am still nursing and she still depends on me that is sort of comforting.
PD: What is Willow doing now? AM: She is crawling like a mad woman. I turn my head for one second and she is on the other side of the room. Plus, she is pulling herself up and standing up. She now has a few teeth. She is non-stop energy until she hits the crib and is knocked out.
PD: Have you and your hubby discussed a time frame as to when you plan to return to New York? AM: I am going to finish out my contract and then we will see where we are at.
Eighth-grader Taylor Trujillo wears the "Boobies" bracelet that has California school officials raising their eyebrows. Credit: Gary Kazanjian, Fresno Bee / MCT
The latest fashion craze in one California school district declares the wearer's love for boobies, but officials don't seem to share in the enthusiasm.
The only thing being raised by Clovis Unified officials, however, is eyebrows. Students who wear the $4 bracelets to class have been asked to remove them and stow them in lockers or backpacks, due to the provocative nature of their slogan. The district's dress code prohibits the wearing of any item that includes sexually suggestive language or pictures.
Taylor Trujillo, an eighth-grader at Granite Ridge Intermediate School in the Clovis district, tells the Bee she wore her bracelet on campus to show support for cancer patients. She says she was asked to put the item in her backpack, or it would be taken from her.
PRODUCTION PLAYER! DO NOT DELETE.
"I didn't think it was a big deal because of the reason why I was wearing it," she tells the newspaper. "I feel that we should be able to wear them at school because they are not saying anything bad."
Funds raised from bracelet sales will be used for research and help pay for local support programs for patients, including cosmetics and hair replacement. But that hasn't swayed Clovis Unified. However, at least one school did relent after parents rallied to support the campaign -- and their kids' participation in it.
The Fresno Unified School District confiscated about 30 of the bracelets, but then listened to parents and met to discuss the campaign and its goal. They decided to return the bracelets and lifted their ban.
"Breast cancer has touched so many families and some students feel this is very important to them," Fresno Unified spokeswoman Susan Bedi tells the Bee.
Your child might not like the teacher as much s the other kids, but is it time to move her to another classroom? Credit: Getty Images
"I don't want to be in this teacher's class this year." "I like my teacher from last year better -- why can't I have her again?" "But all my friends are in the other class." Are these common complaints heard in your household each new school year? Well, you may want to teach your kids a new refrain before insisting the school pull a switcheroo on any seating charts.
It seems like just when you get the hang of your child's homework and class party policies, it's time for summer vacation. And it's only natural to feel out of sorts the first couple of days or weeks of a new school year -- there is a lot to get used to, after all. But before you spend the second day of school lobbying for your daughter to be in the same class as her BFF, take some time to understand that the school has put some thought into where your child will succeed.
Moving a child around after starting with one teacher can cause disorder not only in your child's class, but in other classrooms in the school, as well.
"I think that it's a big decision," says Barbara Chester, principal of Cherry Park Elementary School in Portland, Ore., and president of the National Association of Elementary School Principals. "It can be disruptive to a child and to the parents and to the class and to the teacher. First of all, I would hope that there has been good communication between the parents and teacher to start with."
Early in a school year, parents often will march into the principal's office demanding a child is removed from a classroom, Chester tells ParentDish in a phone interview. And, while she saysit's "totally appropriate" for a parent to approach the principal about any concerns in the classroom, the first question from the principal's mouth is likely tobe "Have you talked to the teacher?"
If parents answer no, Chester says, she will still speak with them to help them "process their concerns." But she lets the parents know she will be relaying their concerns to their child's teacher. Frequently, when the principal approaches the teacher, it's the first time the teacher claims to have knowledge of the parents' displeasure.
"We're a partnership," Chester says of the parent-teacher-principal relationship.
According to the U.S. Department of Education, if a parent doesn't agree with something in the classroom, setting up a meeting among the teacher and the parents -- with or without the principal in attendance -- is one of the first recommended actions. Even though the parent is the child's advocate, each party in the meeting should listen to the other and hear all the concerns expressed. The school's final decision should reflect what supports a child's success, which may not always match what the parents believe are in the child's best interests.
Chester says she sometimes will remind both parties to "shut up and listen," adding that, in her experience, after the conference among the teacher, parents and principal, "99 percent of the time, they work it out. But the parents are always welcome to come back and talk about what is the best situation for the child."
Parents should also talk to other parents. That's how Nancy Hall, of Connecticut, discovered her daughter's tales of her fifth grade teacher berating students in front of the classroom weren't fables. She says the experience that was so intense that children were sent to the nurse daily in fits of tears and were making appointments to see therapists.
"Once we started to talk to each other, that was the part where the light came on," she tells ParentDish in a phone interview. "If another kid was bullying my kid as much as this teacher did, I would be there in an instant."
Hall says she finally managed to move her daughter in March of the school year. The experience prompted the family explore other options, and the following year Hall's daughter enrolled in a different school.
"The most important thing is to be a good advocate for your child," Hall says. "From the beginning, we were in there saying there is a problem with this. I think we waited too long to make the change. ... Band together with other parents and be on top of what's happening. The really important part of this is that we had each other."
Some schools have addressed classroom placement with standard policies and procedures. Cascade Ridge Elementary School in Sammamish, Wash., posts its four-page guide online, including a form to request a re-assignment and a set of six questions to which parents need to respond. The school also spells out the process used in assigning students to a classroom: Balancing the students' academic or leadership skills, work habits or behavior factors; rapport among students; balance of boys to girls; and information provided either from other teachers or during earlier parent-teacher conferences.
Cascade Ridge's policy makes it clear that after two weeks of school, parents may meet with the classroom teacher to discuss and work to resolve any issues. Before placing a formal request for a placement change, the parent and teacher devise a strategy, which is put in writing and includes a reasonable interval to put the plan in place.
When Suzanna Bortz's children were in elementary school, she wrote a letter each year advocating for her children, even though, she tells ParentDish in a phone interview, she was "discouraged to write the letters."
A special education teacher who has worked in schools since 1979, the Orange County, Calf., mom requested her son be moved from an eighth grade U.S. history classroom into a gifted class. She and her son met with the teacher and administrators, but were denied a placement change.
Finally, Bortz says, at the end of the first quarter she went into the school and told the school administration he wasn't learning and, because her son was taking other gifted classes, made the argument that his history class should be a gifted class, as well. The school agreed to the change and, according to Bortz, he blossomed under his new teacher and hopes to major in history when he finishes high school next spring.
Bortz, who, as a teacher, once requested that one of two high-energy brothers be moved from her own class, understands the need to establish lines of communication.
"I think it is good to talk to the teacher -- then the problem can be worked out," she says. "Then that is good for the child, too. You talk about it and work it out. And hopefully it is fixed. And if you, as a parent, don't feel you have been heard, it's good to go to the principal. I think it is good to get support somewhere."
Chester says she has rarely moved a student to a different class -- maybe only six students in her 28 years of experience. But if a principal does agree to a change of classroom, Chester says, the parents need to think about what they are going to say to the child about the change.
"The parents need to have the language of why the move is happening" she says, so that the student understands and can feel more comfortable about the change. "Look before you leap. Moving your kid is a quick fix; letting us work with the kids so they can learn to problem-solve is long-term."
